Be the best version of you – creating a coaching culture

In my last blog, I wrote about tips for being a good pastoral leader. The first tip I gave was to care. Caring is the cornerstone of good pastoral leadership and relevant for all leaders, but how can you best show that you care?

For me, it is to truly listen to people. How good does it feel to be listened to? Or conversely, annoying, when you feel that someone isn’t listening to you? Last summer, my epiphany came when I completed a coaching course with Graydin, which taught me how to be a better listener, to ask better questions and through this to empower people to be the best version of themselves. Since then I have had so many better conversations with pupils, colleagues, friends, family and strangers. As a coaching convert, I can see first-hand its strength as a tool to transform people and organisations. I have been lucky enough to be responsible for making Woldingham School ‘coach-like’ by implementing Graydin Coaching methods. Since the start of the year, more than a third of staff have been trained as we have begun to change our culture and be more ‘coach-like’.

What is coaching?

People’s first impulse is to assume it is sport related. The ‘Godfather’ of coaching, John Whitmore, defined it as:

I really like the emphasis on helping people unlock their own potential. For me, coaching is about allowing people to be the best version of themselves by getting to the heart of what is important to them by asking effective questions, truly listening to them and then empowering them to achieve what is important to them. The best bit about coaching is that it is a skill that anyone can acquire, you just need to care, be curious and learn to ask the right questions. One of the main philosophies in coaching is that each person being coached has the answers. What could be more empowering than knowing that you have the answers? 

How does it work?

Graydin have a three-part methodology to coaching – heart, head, step. 

A coach starts by asking ‘heart’ questions that focus on what is important or motivates an individual. The coach then focuses on what is potentially stopping the individual from doing what motivates them and might encourage them to take a different lens or viewpoint to understand what is holding them back (head). Lastly, the coach will try to ensure that the coachee takes a ‘step’ towards what they want to achieve by asking them what they want to do. This is a simplified coaching explanation, the remit of coaching goes far wider, but the essence of it is to care by being curious and truly listening to what is important to an individual. Too often leaders and teachers can rush to making suggestions about what an individual needs to change, whilst the focus here is on what’s important to the individual and, through coaching, they might work out that it is completely different to what they thought it was.

What are the benefits of coaching? 

Coaching can provide true clarity around an issue that has been buzzing around your head which can be anything from something quite personal to helping with making decisions (such as career or even A Level or University choices for some of our students). It is a form of help that is different to Counselling as it is forward facing rather than helping untie a knot in the past that Counselling, for example, might best be used for. It is not like mentoring as it is about listening to the individual rather than providing guidance or advice. The benefit is that the individual comes away with their own answer and so has ownership of this. I feel that, having been coached, a person is therefore more likely to implement their plans rather than being told what to do. Hopefully leaders and managers can see the benefit of individuals taking ownership of their decisions. At Woldingham we run a ‘Brain Breakfast’ each year (with each year group) where a selection of pupils discuss with staff a piece of work they are proud of and a piece they are not. The idea being that they learn what approaches or techniques are successful. In previous years it would often end up with staff telling or suggesting to pupils what they need to do to improve. This year, with coaching being implemented, we have made it more ‘coach-like’ and now the pupils tell us what they need to do to improve. A subtle shift, but I believe a coach-like culture creates a more independent and motivated individual.

Why be more ‘coach-like’?

Woldingham’s vision is to provide an outstanding education that empowers women to change the world. We want each student to become the author of their own life story, achieving their ambitions, whatever they are. We say we want each student to #WriteYourOwnStory. Coaching is a tool to ensure as each student is listened to and empowered to achieve the goals they set.  Research shows time and time again that people are more successful when they are motivated, and being ‘coach-like’ helps to motivate as it focuses on what is important to them.

In my first year as Head of Year, one student pointed out that in assembly each week I had a catch phrase: ‘Be the best version of you’. They started to play catchphrase bingo for when I would say it. I now see coaching as an important tool in helping each student to realise this, to become the best version of herself.

Making Woldingham more ‘coach-like’?

 We started introducing students to coaching this year through one-to-one sessions, PSHCE sessions and specific coaching sessions around some big choices (e.g. A Level or  university). The initial focus was to upskill staff, with an emphasis on training both teaching staff (each subject has a trained coach) and non-teaching staff (marketing, development and operations all have a trained coach).

Many staff have commented that coaching is among the best training they have ever done. One recent staff participant said about the coaching training: ‘it’s inspiring, it gives tangible immediate benefits and it’s clear how valuable it is through more fruitful conversations’. Some, including me, commented that they thought they were good listeners until they took part in the coaching training.

It’s been fascinating to see how quickly our approach to be more coach-like has been adopted in our teaching and in our pastoral care. Next year, we aim to equip students with coaching skills so they can support and empower each other. We also aim, in due course, to share coaching with parents so we have a 360-degree coach-like approach. For optimal impact to create a ‘coach-like culture’, everyone has to be on board with the vision where all are empowered to be the best version of ourselves.

Do you ever think to yourself that the world would be a lot better if people listened more? That world is the one we are creating at Woldingham.